GingaJoy
Well... I don't even know where to start with this one. I couldn't wait to post our first review, thinking in my small and obviously mistaken mind that it would be a 10 out of 10 and all would be well in this world.
I was wrong. Very wrong.
Let us start with the template - YAWN!! I can't even come up with a word that even suits this mundane and boring template. As Simon Cowell often says, "I hate to be rude but" (and don't you just love the but part because you know what is coming" but this template makes the stark white walls in an art gallery come alive. Oranges - who the heck wants to see oranges on someones blog? Unless you're living in Florida or are a tree grower in your previous life, ditch the oranges.
Then I get a little hope as I move on to the content. Its merely so-so with a little hint of excitement. Granted the woman just had a baby but can we please just add a little pizazz into the writing?? Yes, birthing is hard work. Yes, raising a 9 week old is trying even for the divas here, but c'mon if it is going to be a mommy blog then make it strictly a mommy blog and send it to your family and friends. Don't make the whole world succumb to your tired and emotional posts. Granted, I did get a little tug at my heart strings for the post on putting your baby into daycare. I do have some heart left ya know!
Then we must deal with the sidebar. As Britney Spears says it best - OMG Y'all - Don't put the link as "A mere handful of blogs I stalk" when you have 53 blogs and none of them are rolled up. ROLL THEM UP! Although your archives are only about a year old you are also getting to the point that you can roll those up too. Now, I'm not a fan of overused sidebars, but this has nothing - nothing I say! Go ahead, show us your personality! Show us a button, a blinkie, anything!
Cluttered it is not, in fact my eyes were dying to spot something, anything with a color. The white background can easily make someone fall asleep, put a little spark in your blog! The final question is "Will I return?"
Um, no. Sorry hon, you may be the epitome of classic English style and grace, you could in fact be the Queen of England and I still wouldn't give you a second glance. Liven it up, shake it up, and get rid of the damn oranges!
Rating - 2 out of 10
Well... I don't even know where to start with this one. I couldn't wait to post our first review, thinking in my small and obviously mistaken mind that it would be a 10 out of 10 and all would be well in this world.
I was wrong. Very wrong.
Let us start with the template - YAWN!! I can't even come up with a word that even suits this mundane and boring template. As Simon Cowell often says, "I hate to be rude but" (and don't you just love the but part because you know what is coming" but this template makes the stark white walls in an art gallery come alive. Oranges - who the heck wants to see oranges on someones blog? Unless you're living in Florida or are a tree grower in your previous life, ditch the oranges.
Then I get a little hope as I move on to the content. Its merely so-so with a little hint of excitement. Granted the woman just had a baby but can we please just add a little pizazz into the writing?? Yes, birthing is hard work. Yes, raising a 9 week old is trying even for the divas here, but c'mon if it is going to be a mommy blog then make it strictly a mommy blog and send it to your family and friends. Don't make the whole world succumb to your tired and emotional posts. Granted, I did get a little tug at my heart strings for the post on putting your baby into daycare. I do have some heart left ya know!
Then we must deal with the sidebar. As Britney Spears says it best - OMG Y'all - Don't put the link as "A mere handful of blogs I stalk" when you have 53 blogs and none of them are rolled up. ROLL THEM UP! Although your archives are only about a year old you are also getting to the point that you can roll those up too. Now, I'm not a fan of overused sidebars, but this has nothing - nothing I say! Go ahead, show us your personality! Show us a button, a blinkie, anything!
Cluttered it is not, in fact my eyes were dying to spot something, anything with a color. The white background can easily make someone fall asleep, put a little spark in your blog! The final question is "Will I return?"
Um, no. Sorry hon, you may be the epitome of classic English style and grace, you could in fact be the Queen of England and I still wouldn't give you a second glance. Liven it up, shake it up, and get rid of the damn oranges!
Rating - 2 out of 10
Labels: Sexy Simone Speaks
6 Comments:
no. ladies. I said SCATHING. don't hold back. you're being too nice. really.
I would have at least squeezed out a 4 on this blog. Purely on content alone. I like when a blog makes me laugh out loud at something, and I found a few posts that did that for me in this one.
I agree on the template, though. Boring as fuck. If only she could find a template to use that matches her personality.
Not sure I'd visit it again, though. I've read worse, and I've read better.
Ladies (review ladies)... aren't you being disingenuous with this review? You feign surprise at being disappointed in her site, but, um, you *asked* to review her blog, and if that solicitation was anything like the one that I received, it probably included some flattery ("interesting blog!"). So you might either cop to fishing for blogs to review with the bait of flattery and the intent to switch to snark, OR acknowledge that there was something that attracted you to the site in the first place, and that led you to ASK to review it. Full disclosure is only fair, right?
On that note, if you're still wanting to review *my* blog, I'd appreciate if you'd make it clear that you *asked* to do so. Otherwise, you can bump me off the list and make room for someone who really wants the review.
Either way, you got us - vain bloggers! Oh, the irony.
FUCK! I typed a whole response, and of course Blogger being the usual shit-cake it is, I lost it.
Let's try again.
To "her bad mother"
Touche!
First of all, it was all ME, ME, ME that went to other sites and tried to find some good ones to review. I commented on a few ("good blog" "Interesting blog" or in your case, "Happy Blogiversary!"), asked them to consider submitting their blog for us to review. Sexy Simone was the one who received this site in particular, and she hadn't seen it before, until she drew the short straw and got stuck doing the first review.
When I was browsing blogs, I certainly wasn't looking for AWESOME, SPECTACULAR, PERFECT blogs to review -- because who would give a flying fuck about reading those? I tried to find a mix of all different kinds of blogs, all different templates, subject matter, etc...because really -- just how many mommy blogs can one person read?
The site is for fun, for entertainment-- we've all been ripped a new asshole--err, received shitty reviews-- by other review sites (one in particular) and you know what? We took it tongue-in-cheek, took our "smacks" (or lack thereof) and moved on.
Yes, we take note that you were *asked* to submit your site, and that was purely because we knew of no other way to get people to submit their blogs. Without asking a few bloggers to be our guinea pigs, how else would we get this started?
Perfectly wonderful answer I would say Diva - and I completely agree. You have to know that your blog isn't perfect because otherwise why would you sign up to be reviewed?? Sure, its all done in humor and a little bit of sarcasm, but if you look at the words and what was said you'll notice I gave a lot of good suggestions. That being said, if anyone wants to run away screaming feel free if you can't take the heat (er...truth)
How else would you get started but by asking for guinea pigs? Um, since when do you need someone's permission to publish a review of their blog? I'm sure you'd get a scathing response if you got acknowledged at all by the blogger in question, but that's a different question.
Mind, if your review were amusing instead of half-assed bitchery, I'd likely be singing a different tune. If you're going to snark, make it funny, damn it. You may think you were giving "lots of good suggestions," but you were so focused on the mechanics you didn't really seem to get around to an actual, you know, review. Pick one: humorous snarky reviews, or straightfoward constructive critiques. So far (and I acknowledge this is only your first review post), I'm seeing neither.
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