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Friday, May 25, 2007
Cool Beans

Blog Being Reviewed: Cool Beans
Reviewed By: Lexis Eldorado

At First Glance: The problem with wordpress is that it can look very clinical. This blog looks like that. They have alot to say however, so I am putting on my googles and going in.

Template/Design: Well apparently they are looking for a new header. I'm not sure if anyone has submitted one - but the first time I read it, I was expecting some sorta contest or update or something, now it looks likes part of the gimmick and it's not fun. Not cluttered, has 'pages' for stuff that would normally clutter up the sidebars. Reading very long however, wordpress has that cool MORE feature - it would clean up your page.

Content: Ok when I tell you that I felt like I was on Space Mountain, I'm not exaggerating. This bad boy was all over the place. I desperately searched for Labels, Categories, Topics or something. It goes on and on and on. There is no clear definition of exactly who the blogger is outside of titles such as mother, wife etc. And what is up with the password protected entries. I said I brought my goggles NOT my safe cracking equipment. Whenever I see that, I feel on one hand that I stumbled across my daughters diary open on the bed but on the other hand, I'm the last one picked at kickball. Because I am dizzy from all the directions this blog has taken - I am picking the latter feeling which means I'm pissed.

The more I read, the more I felt like I was listening to my mother tell me why wearing red made you a harlot and I started blanking out until I couldn't see the page - damn! I have to step away.

Ok I'm back.

This person has been writing for YEARS but I could almost count the comments on one hand. What's up with that?

What is the first thing I would change about this blog? Immediately start labeling your stuff Cool! So when and if I come back I can go, "Hmm I wanna read about her kids vomit, let me click vomit and read away." I would also resuggest the MORE feature. I can't really speak for content because how can you tell someone to focus - oops just did.

What is the best feature of this blog? You might wanna change that cup of tea and bath to an energy bar and a snow board.

Rating: 6 out of 10 - it's obvious you love blogging, just put a strainer on that brain of yours so that folks can follow the storyline.


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Anonymous coolbeans says...

If your future reviews are to count for anything, you will have to overcome a glaring weakness: You are lazy.

First, none of the ten entries on my front page at the time of this review were long enough to warrant the use of a "More" fold. The day this was posted, three entries were under five sentences, one was protected and one was a bulleted list. Furthermore, I typically do not post every day, so there is ample time for readers to keep up. Archive readers are reading intentionally and have a lot of reading ahead of them. No one would prefer to read through years of content and have to click "More" and "Back" for each entry that is longer than one paragraph.

Second, you didn't bother to read the "About" page where I state the purpose and nature of my blog. I address password-protected posts and link to a discussion regarding anonymity. As for comments, I will quote myself here: "This website has seen many changes including countless template tweaks and a move from Blogger to Wordpress. A lot of really great comments were lost in the process and that is a serious drag."

I'd also like your readers to know that "cool beans" is not a collaboration. There is no "they". It's me and a lovely group of thoughtful readers. I am looking for a host and a possible cosmetic overhaul for my blog, but am not hosting a makeover contest because that would be gimmicky. Also, if you like an entry, clicking through to the permalink (which you can't claim is too much work for a reader if you're suggesting I use the "MORE feature"), you will see my more recent posts are tagged.

Lastly, and most ridiculously, when you say: "I felt like I was listening to my mother tell me why wearing red made you a harlot" without connecting it to any of my content or any part of the rest of your review - you give yourself away as trying too hard to be edgy. "Like, OMG, you said HARLOT! Go you!"

I read this review site and have found great new reads here. Hopefully you will either quit or tame your ego so the focus is on the reviewed site (good or bad - I'd appreciate a "1 out of 10" from someone who bothered to read my ABOUT page) and not on you, the reviewer.

5/26/2007 10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous says...

You tell 'em Cool Beans! Honestly, sites like this are the stupidest things ever! I mean, how can they judge the looks of blogs when they look like this? This has to be one of the ugliest templates I have ever seen. I mean, seriously.... This is just plain ugly. Fake too... They only say this in the hopes of becoming popular, but when everyone figures out who they are, they'll quit caring about their reviews. These "chicks" are as fake as can be... Pretending to be pro bloggers, when their actual sites suck ass. Who cares what you girls think. People blog because they like it, and you fat bitches shouldn't sit there ripping them apart. Grow up and act like ladies.

5/27/2007 1:10 AM  
Blogger Newsbitch says...

Hmm Coolbeans, I thought that too about the More feature. I've looked at your blog and the posts I can see don't actually need it. The More thing is super-handy if you have a really long post, but otherwise it's pointless and only frustrating for readers.

I really like the site despite the faux bitchiness. In my eyes it's simply a bit of fun - after all, the girls don't show their real blogs so how do we know they're as good as they make out?

Love the new design though.

5/27/2007 5:12 AM  
Anonymous coolbeans says...

anonymous - To be fair, I willingly submitted my site for review and was prepared for any rating. I wasn't prepared for the laziness of this particular reviewer.

I don't mind bitchy humor. But that's not what any of the above was.

5/27/2007 9:24 AM  
Blogger Twyla says...

I actually love this new template...and I love this site. It has introduced me to some great blogs that I never would have found otherwise.

5/28/2007 8:10 AM  
Blogger Diva Dee says...

Cool Beans -

You got a SIX out of 10 and you're complaining??? I read your comment, and I figured I'd better go re-read the review, because I thought maybe you got a one or two... but a SIX?!?!?!?!?!?!

Get a grip. Like I've said before, you would have been singing our praises had we given you a 10 out of 10 regardless of what the reviewer said, but because we didn't have all positive things to say, you're going to say we suck. We're lazy, we need to quit.

No one forced you to submit your site.

5/29/2007 8:36 AM  
Blogger Diva Dee says...

Anonymous -

Funny how the bitchiest comments always come from the "anonymous" readers of our site.

5/29/2007 8:38 AM  
Blogger Chatty Chicka says...

Anonymous-- You say I'm a bitch like it's a BAD thing.....

Go crawl back under your rock, you loathsome creature.

5/29/2007 8:42 AM  
Blogger Lexis Eldorado says...

Hmmm, I busted my review cherry on your blog and apparently it was like alot of first times - only satifying for one person.

After reading your comments - I cop to one thing, I did miss where you said you lost your comments. I did read your about, but that page wasn't up for review. I also read about 40 of your posts - you've been blogging a long time. Just because the front page didn't require MORE doesn't mean that some of your other run on blog entries didn't.

It is hard to question someone's intent and direction when they are writing personal blogs - who can tell you whether or not your words have any merit - it's your life.

However, when you ask someone to come over and read and digest what you have to say and in what way they present what they have to say - don't expect that person to be your number one fan. Maybe - Maybe not. Apparently you have an audience - so my two cents should have been for entertainment purposes anyway, lol

I certainly was not lazy in my reading or critiquing - the page was lazy in design. So next time you want someone to validate your life - maybe you should pick more carefully who you ask. The wonderful thing about women is we have all kinds of people in our circle to tell us just what we want to hear when we want to hear it.


5/29/2007 9:23 AM  
Anonymous coolbeans says...

I think there's a natural assumption that if I'm providing a rebuttal, I'm in a snit and have an elevated heart rate. I assure you that is not the case.

I said I'd take a 1 out of 10 from someone who paid attention to my About page. Nearly everything the reviewer zinged me for was something that was explained in that section.

My About page in and of itself wasn't up for review. The whole blog was. But it's no secret you're all about "About" up in here.

A "MORE" tag on the front page isn't a terrible idea, but in Archives it is. Two tons of work to take it out when it falls off page one.

And PFFFFFT! I don't want everyone to quit. I think the newbie was trying too hard to be edgy. I don't need everyone to love me and my writing, and a six isn't bad IF it's a thoughtful (albeit snarky - which I fully expected here) review.

5/29/2007 10:50 AM  
Anonymous coolbeans says...

Diva Dee - I left two comments above yours. You might have missed the second one where I said, "anonymous - To be fair, I willingly submitted my site for review and was prepared for any rating. I wasn't prepared for the laziness of this particular reviewer."

5/29/2007 10:52 AM  

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