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Friday, February 16, 2007
Land of 2 Under 2
No more Ms. Nice Gal...

I saw the title of the next blog I have the pleasure of reviewing, and the title alone made me cringe.

Land of 2 Under 2.

*sigh* Really, is this what I have to read about? Someone with *gasp*-- toddlers? I said I wasn't going to harp on "mommybloggers" anymore, because I blog, and I'm a mommy, so technically I should put myself into that genre of writing also. But I blog as an escape from my ho-hum life, not to brag about my kids, right? RIGHT? Helloooooooo, Am I RIGHT? At least my kids can wipe their own asses now, so forgive me if I'm not enthused about reading about the trials and tribulations of being a mom of poop-assed booger-eating toddlers. Ew.

Template: The one good thing about this blog is the template. Emphasis on the ONE good thing. I've seen this blog before, and she used to have some weird fucking template with two big-ass birds on it, and I'm glad she changed it. This one is much better.

This is where the good things about the blog end. On with the massacre, my pretties.

Content: Let me just tell you, Ms. Elleoz-- you drew the short straw, girl. You get stuck with Diva Dee reviewing your site, and Diva Dee DON'T LIKE BLOG HO'S. (Diva Dee does, however, obviously like to refer to herself in the third person.) How do you know if you're a "BLOG HO" you ask? I'll tell ya. Twelve posts on your front page, and SEVEN of them--- FUCKING SEVEN -- were "Pay Per Post" ads... fuck that. That really should make me end this review right now, go pour myself a drink, and pop in a movie.

I swear to God. The first post I saw when I clicked on her site was titled "Hey Big Spender" and was promoting the great exciting orgasmic PAY PER POST opportunity! I'm getting wet just thinking about it. My nipples are actually getting hard thinking of all the cash I could earn whoring myself out for a few measly bucks a month. I could, like, buy myself a Happy Meal, and still have money left over to pay this little lady a couple bucks to stop blogging.

Sorry, hun. If I really wanted to read advertisements, I'll check out the "Spam" folder in my mailbox. Or I'll turn on my TV late at night and watch infomercials. But its just not worth losing my precious beauty sleep. I need it so I can stay awake long enough to read through your fucking blog. So what if you're getting paid? You've sold your soul to the PPP devil, and you ain't getting it back. That whole scam will go under just like every other seemingly "get rich semi-quick" crap does on the web. You wait and see.

Wait -- What was that you just said? You have other stuff besides sponsored ads?

Oh yeah, let me spend some time on that. I see a post where she's whining about not getting flowers on Valentine's Day. She even admitted it herself--titling her post "I AM AN IDIOT." At least she admits it. She hints around for flowers, because she hasn't gotten them in--like, for-EVER! So when Valentines Day comes around and all she gets is a card, chocolates and a CD, she reverts into a two-year-old tantrum like attitude. Her husband had actually gotten her flowers but was saving them for later, but ended up giving them to her sooner because of the fit she threw? Can we say SPOILED ROTTEN?

Overall, besides the occasional whining about something and the sponsored ads, this blog doesn't offer much else "content."

Navigation: S'ok. I'm still fuming about the Content part.

Clutter: It's not bad. Nothing to write home about, though. Decent blogroll, a list of her past renters. Move over to the OTHER sidebar (yes-- 3-columns, hold me BACK) and you'll see some sponsored ad buttons, her renter, and way down hidden towards the bottom is her archives. Dear, if you really want someone to delve into the mystery that is YOU, move the archives to a more prominent location. Basically, you're telling me that your PPP link is more important than what you've written. But if you're now writing for the almighty cha-ching I guess you aren't worried about that, eh?

Would I Return? That would be a big NO. I've seen too many people start out with a personal blog and a great future-- they get a cool template, start to get a regular following of readers, comments... Then, BAM!---they blow it all, losing readers that get tired of wading through all the crap, and are too tired to go out to the garage and grab themselves a shovel. Eventually, it just ends up being ALL're too busy writing about stuff you are getting paid to endorse, but you'll never really use yourself. Sorry my dear-- NO I won't be back.

Rating: 2 out of 10 (I gave her the 2 for her template.)


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Anonymous Anonymous says...

You blog stands out from the rest. Keep it up. Weight Loss

3/12/2007 2:36 PM  

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